We have all been in that occasional lousy relationship or had hurt feelings from a spouse, friend, or family member. You may have even been in an abusive relationship with a parent or spouse. These feelings can run deep with memories that replay over and over in our minds. Marooning us in time, they make us unable to move on or can serve as triggers in other relationships. Clinging to resentment, pain, offense, and bitterness can be similar to shackles that bind us and hold us captive, making it impossible to function as God designed us. There is a way out!
It’s called forgiveness.
First, let me tell you what forgiveness is not. It is not condoning wrong or evil, it is not blindly trusting, and it is not returning to an abusive relationship. On the other hand, it is letting go of a debt, leaving that person in the hands of God, and being free of all that keeps you captive. It is the way to healing! Being able to forgive is removing yourself from the Judge’s seat.
The Bible tells us in Matthew 6:14-15, that if we forgive what has been done to us, then God will forgive us for everything we have done as well.
Have you ever opened up a jewelry box to get out a necklace and found a tangled mess of chains, watches, and bracelets? This is the way our memories and emotions can get. Unforgiveness entangles our hearts, souls, and minds (or memories) with the person who has offended, hurt, or traumatized us. God, by our forgiveness of others, will untangle us and give us freedom. Through this freedom, we can now receive healing for our hearts, souls, and memories.
God is the only one who can separate our pain from our memories! Ask him, and he will do it. Once he does, there is healing!
My husband, Mike, and I went to a marriage retreat this past weekend with friends. There were great speakers and nice rooms. We laughed, talked, and ate a lot! We are both glad to have gone, not because we have a terrible marriage, but because there are things you need to be reminded of sometimes.
The first thing that was made clear was “Your spouse is a gift.” Forgetting that is easy.
Mike and I met through friends on a blind date. I knew almost nothing about him before agreeing to this rendezvous. Frankly, I didn’t realize he was Greek until dinner. The Greeks I knew were a bit difficult at that time. It didn’t help that the guy I had just broken up with two months before was Greek as well. His mother was a Greek immigrant and did not like that I was not Greek.
It wasn’t love-at-first-site, it took a couple of weeks for that to happen. Mike was strong physically, (He had great muscles), but also spiritually, and emotionally. He also worked hard and owned his own business. He was exactly what I was looking for!
The other men I had dated seemed weak spiritually and let their mothers control them! No thank you! Mike was and is not that kind of man. His mother was kind and accepting of me although I was not Greek. That was definitely a bonus! She was a wonderful woman.
Fast forward to marriage, infertility problems, premature twins, finding out we have a child with Cerebral palsy, years of physical and occupational therapy, homeschooling, business troubles, selling the business, the death of in-laws, and adding goats and chickens…this is LIFE as we know it.
It gets hard to remember all of this came about as a gift from God.
We have made it through many things, sometimes not so quietly or peacefully! We have ups and downs which lead me to another point made at the marriage retreat: Your spouse is NOT your enemy!
In the midst of difficulty and bad communication, it is easy to make your spouse the enemy; the reason your life is hard!
In the last 25 years, everything I went through, Mike was going through it as well. As we continually look to God for help and answers to our life situations and challenges, He was there. He is the reason we are still married!
Yes, we have an enemy….it just isn’t each other.
Relationships can be hard. Any relationship, whether it’s with your mom, dad, sister, brother, friend, co-worker, or spouse can go through difficult seasons. God is the Great Restorer. He will bring healing to any relationship we allow Him to control.
You may have visited my last blog site, In the Heavenly Places. I moved to WordPress because it is user-friendly and I needed a change for the better. I hope you enjoy this site and maybe even learn something!
It’s a cold morning here in Ohio and I am tired today. Like many of you, this is going to be a busy day. I teach biology and anatomy, and today I have both classes plus a Bible study to teach. I teach homeschooled students, so we meet in places like the library and church. I have small classes and my students are eager to learn. We can be relaxed and casual and go the pace that is needed for each student.
I have a biology degree which focused on the pre-med route. I never made it to Medical school, but I am not upset about that. I had a college professor who wanted me to become a teacher. I had NO desire to do that in college. It wasn’t until I had 4 and 6-year-olds, that I decided to homeschool. Shortly after that, the Lord called me to teach women’s Bible studies. I realized how much I loved to teach.
Whether it is biology or the Bible, I see our Creator in it. I love teaching; it is my passion! I hardly feel as though I know it all. Actually, I feel as though I know very little sometimes. But I seek God’s wisdom in everything. He knows it all. All we have to do is ask. He gives wisdom freely.
So, if you are reading this, let me know what you would like to read on this blog. How can I pray for you and encourage you? What questions can I help answer or what subjects can I research for you?
Did I tell you I love researching things? Instead of becoming a doctor, I went into medical research. These days I research scripture, the biblical languages, and spiritual and physical health. (But that is for another blog)
Have a great day and know that the Creator of the Universe loves YOU and knows your name.