I originally wrote this for a friend’s blog. I am reposting here, because today I received my first rejection from a publisher for my Bible study called The Jewels of Hebrews.
There was a post going around on Facebook which stated, “Don’t believe everything you think.” Its truth crashed head on into my thoughts of rejection.
Throughout most of my life it felt as though others rejected me. It’s one of those feelings which is so easy to believe, like fear. We can spend our entire existence thinking people are talking about us, believing no one values us, even feeling sure people don’t want us around.
I can feel excluded when I see my friends on Facebook sharing pictures of themselves having a great time together, wondering why they didn’t invite me. When people don’t attend my Bible study classes, I assume it is because of me. When people won’t buy my book, it looks, feels, and smells like… rejection.
I am not ignoring the fact people have distanced or removed themselves from my life. It hurt when a boyfriend broke up with me because I wasn’t right for him, and when friends thought I was a “Jesus freak”, or a woman didn’t want to be friends any longer.
Even though people have rejected me doesn’t mean I am rejected.
Rejection can become a stronghold in our Christian walk. It is the lie which keeps us captive by Satan, who tells us we are not worthy, wanted, or appreciated.
One night in a dream, I saw myself with different people, in a church, at a restaurant, and in a friend’s home. I saw myself looking down at the ground not making eye contact with anyone, feeling alone, and despised. Everywhere I went people treated me the way I saw myself. I woke up knowing I needed to stop believing the lie that no one wanted me around. If I kept acting rejected not only did I believe it but soon everyone else would as well.
Victory came when I repented for believing the lie that I am rejected. I asked God to replace that lie with His truth.
Psalm 94:14 (ESV) says, “For the LORD will not reject His people; He will never forsake His inheritance.”
We are His inheritance.
God has not rejected us—quite the opposite, in fact. He faced the ultimate rejection by His death so we can live as adopted sons and daughters.
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We can turn the tables on Satan by rejecting him and his lies and forgiving those who rejected us. Forgiveness is a weapon for victory. It removes the power of the evil one and frees us from the captivity of unforgiveness. It will allow healing.
One of the greatest gifts we have is being able to spend time with the Lord. He strengthens us through our relationship with Him. He affirms us and shows us love and patience while healing the hurts of our hearts.
Another source of truth for victorious living is God’s Word. Ephesians 1:4 tells us He chose us before He created the world and Ephesians 2:4 tells us God loves us with a great love.
I love Zephaniah 3:17 (ESV). Let your heart hear God’s love:
“The Lord your God is in your midst,
a Mighty One Who will save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness;
He will quiet you by His love;
He will exult over you with loud singing.
Scripture memorization means we always have access to the truth even when we don’t have our Bibles with us. Satan cannot steal what is in our hearts. We can repeat verses when the temptation to believe a lie assails us.
Prayer is a mighty weapon for continuous victory over rejection. Be honest with the Lord. We can tell Him the emotions of our hearts and our desire to believe all He says. He wants us to tell Him about our hurts and disappointments. We can approach His throne confidently and we will receive mercy and find grace when we need it (Hebrews 4:16). Continuous conversations with our Father gives us hope and the power to stand even when we feel rejected.
How have you conquered the feelings of rejection?
Another’s rejection only causes them to miss out on the blessing you were about to bring my friend. Know who you are in Christ; and know that Christ lives in you. Everything and everyone else is “gravy.” Some wonderful and delicious. Some lumpy and unsavory. Still, if we know who we ourselves are (with Christ’s help), then the rejection becomes nothing more than a signpost on the journey of our lives. Like the old Burma Shave signs (you’ll have to Google that young lady), we won’t see the whole story unfold until the end. 🙂 God’s blessings; and it sure is good to see you posting again.
Thank you, J.D. I’m not too upset. Any rejection is disappointing, but we are taught to expect them in this field. I know God has this.
Not quite 🙂 Still take rejection a bit too personally sometimes 🙂 Working on it
I understand. We are all a work in progress. Thank you for being transparent.
Hi Stephanie,
My wife and I felt rejection from multiple family members inculding our children. We conquered it with scripture:
Luke 12:53 The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against the father; the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother; the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
And, we also lost some friends, after multiple attempts to gently correct them, we moved on from them because they were tearing us down:
2 Timothy 3:5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away.
The Lord called us to North Carolina after living the last 54 years in Massachusetts. It seemed crazy, after all, our family was all in Massachusetts. We have been here in North Carolina for two weeks and we just heard a setrmon concerning Abram:
Genesis 12:1 Now the LORD had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee:
That was powerful because my wife and I had gotten two scriptures before we went to North Carolina for a month long vacation to scope out the land:
Deuteronomy 30:16 In that I command thee this day to love the LORD thy God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commandments and his statutes and his judgments, that thou mayest live and multiply: and the LORD thy God shall bless thee in the land whither thou goest to possess it.
Exodus 23:20 Behold, I send an Angel before thee, to keep thee in the way, and to bring thee into the place which I have prepared.
Then we got this verse after we came back to Massachusetts:
Numbers 14:24 But my servant Caleb, because he had another spirit with him, and hath followed me fully, him will I bring into the land whereinto he went; and his seed shall possess it.
We are now renting a house in North Carolina with a view that we have no earthly business having – our neighbors, millionaires with multiple houses in other states both told us ” You have the best view in the community.”
And the kids and grandchildren are open to coming to visit.
Rejection conquered.
Scott
Wow. I love when God speaks through His Word! He has healed me from many feelings of hurt and rejection. He is not finished…
I am glad you are where He wants you to be and for your obedience. Thank you for sharing!
Stephanie, I’m sorry you have felt such rejection. You’re very wise to turn to God’s Word and allow it’s truths to lift you up.
I have felt the pain of rejection many times myself.
Thank you for exposing your own wounds to help others who are going through similar hurts.
God bless you.
Thank you Connie. As we grow it can get easier to spot Satan’s schemes, lies, and deception. We must be in the Word, though. I’m sure you know that!
Stephanie,
Thank you for sharing from your heart. One thing I love about you is that you listen empathetically and always point back to Scripture, the Truth, and God. You’re not afraid to share from the depths of your heart to help others. You admit your shortcomings, but walk boldly and confidently, seeking evermore to become the woman God has made you to be.
This post really spoke to my heart. I feel the ebb and flow, up and down. I think I’ve conquered rejection and then it sneaks up in a way I didn’t expect. The enemy is crafty, but he is wrong. God is Truth, and His love for us, so eloquently spoken in the Scriptures you shared, others shared in the comments and countless others in the Bible prove this.
Thank you for this reminder of God’s Word, Truth, promises and love for us. Rejection tries to speak loudly, but I pray now that God’s voice will be what I attune my ears to!
Caroline
Thank you Caroline! I’m very glad it spoke to you. We are never rejected by God. But, Satan would like us to think we are.
Stay focused on Jesus and who you are in Him! He loves you!♥️ So do I.
Amen, I think we all have felt rejected at some time in our lives. And of course we believe the lie more often than God’s promises from His word. I love that verse from Zephania. It’s glorious, it makes me fill full and loved! Thanks for your openness and reminder.
Thank you for the Scripture you used to help us conquer this rejection struggle. Like many who commented above, I’ve experienced various forms of rejections. As for writing, I love what someone (can’t remember who nor which conference) said, that she/he doesn’t look at it as a rejection, but a chance to submit elsewhere. That takes away a little of the sting to me, but it’s still difficult. Thank you for the helpful tips and for your honesty and vulnerability!
Thank you, Julie.
Thank you, Stephanie. This is a heartfelt article, and I appreciate your advice and candor.
Thank you, Diane.
Your last question made me think. Of course we’ve all experienced rejection many times. I nodded my head as you gave examples and added a few in my own mind–not being chosen for a job, a broken promise, rudeness from others, etc.But, you asked about conquering rejection–that’s a hard one. Scripture, prayer, and communion with God’s family of believers can go far in accomplishing that task–until the next occurrence and we slip backwards until we take it back to God again. I believe overcoming rejection is a constant battle, just as we fight the devil’s schemes on a daily basis on our walk with God. I pray you will submit your study again and keep trying–many of us (including me) are facing the same issue. I don’t agree that misery loves company, but I believe it helps us have compassion for your pain–that we are going through the same struggle.
Thank you, Katherine. Yes, I agree many things we do are temporary in fighting rejection. It is a life-long battle. The ultimate healing happens when we are changed in the twinkling of an eye…or Heaven.