We have all been in that occasional lousy relationship or had hurt feelings from a spouse, friend, or family member. You may have even been in an abusive relationship with a parent or spouse. These feelings can run deep with memories that replay over and over in our minds. Marooning us in time, they make us unable to move on or can serve as triggers in other relationships. Clinging to resentment, pain, offense, and bitterness can be similar to shackles that bind us and hold us captive, making it impossible to function as God designed us. There is a way out!
It’s called forgiveness.
First, let me tell you what forgiveness is not. It is not condoning wrong or evil, it is not blindly trusting, and it is not returning to an abusive relationship. On the other hand, it is letting go of a debt, leaving that person in the hands of God, and being free of all that keeps you captive. It is the way to healing! Being able to forgive is removing yourself from the Judge’s seat.
The Bible tells us in Matthew 6:14-15, that if we forgive what has been done to us, then God will forgive us for everything we have done as well.
Have you ever opened up a jewelry box to get out a necklace and found a tangled mess of chains, watches, and bracelets? This is the way our memories and emotions can get. Unforgiveness entangles our hearts, souls, and minds (or memories) with the person who has offended, hurt, or traumatized us. God, by our forgiveness of others, will untangle us and give us freedom. Through this freedom, we can now receive healing for our hearts, souls, and memories.
God is the only one who can separate our pain from our memories! Ask him, and he will do it. Once he does, there is healing!