My husband, Mike, and I went to a marriage retreat this past weekend with friends. There were great speakers and nice rooms.  We laughed, talked, and ate a lot! We are both glad to have gone, not because we have a terrible marriage, but because there are things you need to be reminded of sometimes.

The first thing that was made clear was “Your spouse is a gift.” Forgetting that is easy.

Mike and I met through friends on a blind date. I knew almost nothing about him before agreeing to this rendezvous. Frankly, I didn’t realize he was Greek until dinner. The Greeks I knew were a bit difficult at that time. It didn’t help that the guy I had just broken up with two months before was Greek as well. His mother was a Greek immigrant and did not like that I was not Greek.

It wasn’t love-at-first-site,  it took a couple of weeks for that to happen. Mike was strong physically, (He had great muscles), but also spiritually, and emotionally. He also worked hard and owned his own business. He was exactly what I was looking for!

The other men I had dated seemed weak spiritually and let their mothers control them! No thank you! Mike was and is not that kind of man. His mother was kind and accepting of me although I was not Greek. That was definitely a bonus! She was a wonderful woman.

Fast forward to marriage, infertility problems, premature twins, finding out we have a child with Cerebral palsy, years of physical and occupational therapy, homeschooling, business troubles, selling the business, the death of in-laws, and adding goats and chickens…this is LIFE as we know it.

It gets hard to remember all of this came about as a gift from God.

We have made it through many things, sometimes not so quietly or peacefully! We have ups and downs which lead me to another point made at the marriage retreat:  Your spouse is NOT your enemy!

In the midst of difficulty and bad communication, it is easy to make your spouse the enemy; the reason your life is hard!

In the last 25 years, everything I went through, Mike was going through it as well. As we continually look to God for help and answers to our life situations and challenges, He was there. He is the reason we are still married!

Yes, we have an enemy….it just isn’t each other.

Relationships can be hard. Any relationship, whether it’s with your mom, dad, sister, brother, friend, co-worker, or spouse can go through difficult seasons. God is the Great Restorer. He will bring healing to any relationship we allow Him to control.